So What IS the BEST WAY to help Orphans in Ukraine

I posed this question to Papa Dima last week when he was visiting our home. His answer:

ADOPT ADOPT ADOPT!!! With emphasis on ADOPT!

He talked about how groups come in and bring LOADS of gifts etc., only for them to not reach the children, but to be sold or stolen, or to sit on a shelf.

One example was socks. The children are only allowed 2 pairs of socks per YEAR. If a missions group comes in and brings a large amount of socks and gives them to the director of the orphanage for distribution. They will sit, or be sold. The children have already been given their allotment for the year.

One of the ways to get around this is to hand out things DIRECTLY to the children.
If they have a direct need of socks (socks with holes, or too small) he gives them new socks; same with underwear.
He also hands out shampoo,soap, laundry soap (for girls who are afraid not to wash their jeans out for fear they won't come back), toilet paper etc.

Another thing he mentioned was the aftermath that happens after a group comes through.
He said many times people, with good intention will promise to write the children, and many times they do, but after a couple of exchanges, the correspondence stops and the children experience another rejection.

The needs are so very great. Teaching children who age out of the orphanages how to live in a society they have never lived in is a huge need. Many have never had money and don't understand its value. They do not understand how to cook, how to clean, how to wash, how to care for themselves, how to study, self discipline, etc. They have been raised as a group without knowledge. Many do not go on to university because they learned nothing while they were in orphanage schools. There is much pressure to "NOT CARE". Those that DO care have a very difficult time studying and learning with such limited resources.

School supplies are in high demand, but he gives them to the children who are serious about learning. When they show that they are really trying to learn, he will give them happily. That way there is no waste.

The big problem to is that these children do not understand what a "Family" is.
They have heard of mama and papa and they all want one, but don't understand really what one is or what one does.

I remember Erika didn't know that mommas and papas are married. She announced after about 8 months of being home that she was going to Marry Papa. When Anna told her daddy was already married she asked. We said, "yes, daddy is married to mommy" and she was very upset that she would not be marrying daddy when she was older. :)

We all found that quite funny, but she didn't. She still didn't understand how a family functions. After 2 plus years I think she understands MUCH better now.
And... she isn't mad at mama for being married to daddy. :)

For those reading this, wanting to help orphans.... is it possible to open your hearts to adoption. Adoption of an older child who has almost NO chance once they leave the orphanage?

The newest statistics for Ukraine are staggering... 5% of orphans who age out of the system will live a fairly normal life. 70% will wind up in Prison at some time. 10% will commit suicide. More than 60 percent are unnaccounted for after 5 years. (most probably in prison, dead or have gone into prostitution or are homeless)........

They are just kids. Kids who have been given life, but have NO life.
They are kids that need to wake up spiritually.

What is the answer for how to help those who are not adopted???

The chances of being adopted after the age of 4 go down staggeringly each year.
The chances of an older child being adopted is like the chance of winning the lottery.

First off: Their spiritual needs are of most importance.
Remember to pray for them often.

Their physical needs are important.... having a fund to give them what they need
AS they need it is important.

Regular visits from people who can minister to the kids and build trust is vitally important to them. That is their lifeline to the outside.

Continued visits, teaching, instruction and bible study is hugely important for those who leave the orphanage system.
This would include instruction in money matters, how to cook, monitoring yourself, getting to bed on time, study, personal health habits, moral lessons etc.